They say things happen in threes. I hope.
It's like deja vu. Kinda.
My life has flipped and no one is more surprised than me. Again.
Tuesday night my kids attended Elle's 5th birthday party, I picked them up at 7:30 and received a text to call Leslie. W/ a sinking feeling I called her back at 8:15ish. By 8:30 I'd learned that she was leaving the district, by 9:45 I'd communicated my impending resignation to my principal. Didn't I just do this?!
I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. Or maybe both simultaneously? That would look crazy, but dang-it, I felt like I was going crazy. I was up until 2:30 a.m. in a state of disbelief.
In a million years, I never thought I'd quit, come back, and quit again. I'm not a wishy-washy person, I'm way too Type A for this. I don't do well when I lose control. And this decision was out of my control. Sure I could teach full-time, but if you know me at all, you know that's not an option I will consider.
When I rescinded in May, it was for both Leslie & I. In those first few days, I knew she wanted it more. In fact, I grieved staying home and I hadn't even done it yet. Someone tried talking me back into resignation, but I'd already committed and I would honor that. I was OK knowing that in the future when my kids didn't need me as much, I'd be happy to be working. I still wanted to identify myself as a teacher.
The news of Leslie leaving floored me, to say I was surprised is an understatement. I had no idea she was entertaining an alternate career path. I can't be mad at someone for following their heart. But because we are partners, by default our decisions belong to both and today I feel hurt. This morning, I turned in my official resignation (again).
I will miss the students and I will miss the staff. But I will never miss Finley & Hadley's first days of school. I will chaperone field trips, maybe I'll even join the PTA (maybe in a year or two - let's not move too quickly). And I'm totally back-to-school shopping at Athleta.
I will have more time and less stress. That still sounds good.
There are the two reasons I'm staying home.
No comments:
Post a Comment